This week, the Republican Party continued its slash-and-burn campaign against the left and center by putting forth a resolution that is designed to check the “purity” of Republican candidates. It’s pretty simple – meet at least 8 of the 10 points in the resolution and you get to call yourself a bona fide, guns a’blazin, tobacco spittin’ genuine Republican. Fail to meet at least 8 points and you can kiss that R next to your name good bye.
Now, some of the points in their “test” do make some sense regardless of which side you are on; such as “Containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat“.
But as expected, most others are designed to essentially purge anyone in the middle and leave only those on the far right. Opposition to cap and trade, abortion, and gay marriage. Support of troop surges in Iraq and Afghanistan as the only path to victory in both wars. Renunciation of “Obama-style government run health care”.
Essentially, you need to believe that people should have easier access to an AK-47 than to affordable health care.
Personally, I am quite delighted with this resolution as I believe it will push some decent moderate Republicans out of the party paving the way for the coronation of Sarah Palin as Queen of the Wingnuts.
I am so delighted, that I decided to come up with my own 10-point Republican purity test that I believe more accurately determines if someone is a true Republican in 2009. So here it is:
1. You believe it is fine to spend trillions of dollars on a useless war in Iraq, but it is disastrous to spend billions of dollars on fixing our own infrastructure to create jobs.
2. You believe that global warming is a myth because it was not foretold in the Book of Revelation.
3. You believe that it is not OK to pass enormous deficits on to our grandchildren, but it IS OK to puff cigarette smoke in their faces.
4. You believe that any proposal coming from a Democrat is automatically socialist no matter what it is and will result in Adolf Hitler rising from the grave and taking over America.
5. You like YOUR government run health care so much that you don’t want to share.
6. You believe leaving the country to cheat on your wife is not an impeachable offense, but doing so in your office is.
7. You believe Sarah Palin is actually the second coming of Jesus Christ.
8. You believe in states’ rights, but only for states that oppose gay marriage.
9. You believe that health care reform will violate Americans personal freedoms, but secret government wiretapping does not.
10. You believe as a God fearing, pro-life person, that it is perfectly acceptable to kill an animal in cold blood, stuff it, and mount it over your fireplace.